Monday, November 3, 2008

How to Go Beyond the 'Story-Telling' Habit

How to Go Beyond the ‘Story-Telling’ Habit

Comment: "An area of my ongoing 'work' is to watch my reactions to the happenings that come my way. There are never ending opportunities to be alert and especially so in relationships. To reduce unnecessary suffering to oneself and others, one must be aware of one's habit to add 'mental stories' to explain away what is happening. It seems so hard to stay close to the unfolding life, in the present moment. It seems there is an irritation with 'what is' happening, we want to fight it, and it arises because we want/expect things to be different! It seems the best we can do is to accept it ain't going to be how we want it, then to drop our story telling habit - and this is all one can do and needs to do to go beyond it."

It is a good ability to be able to see one's own story-telling mode when it arises - it takes a lot of awareness to see it, to know it's happening when it does and to recognize it. It takes even more awareness to be able to truly let it go and drop it because one has to be willing to not want to do it. I also agree with you that relationships provide such a fertile growing opportunity, and especially when there is conflict. I grew a lot from such a situation a few years ago. (I'm not saying you have conflict...)

I remember questioning the phenomena of 'story-mode' itself as a whole, I wrote a sequence of articles on it, Why these persistent internal dialogs? (These articles are on my website). What was interesting to me, is I knew this talking was nonsense and defensive as I could see that when I looked at the content, it was totally ridiculous stuff and often not very nice to myself or others.

Also I noticed that when it went on too long unchecked, then it would effect my emotional state, stress built up, I would get all wound up, likely would get sick and then was more likely to react at anything with all the force of the built up energy - with my ego. I saw it later as me allowing personality to activate - to get strong, and then after this would happen, there was nothing more to do, then do more meditations and wait until this state de-energized. Depending on how far I let it go on, it could take from 3 days to a week to de-energize. So I am sure you know all this too, having observed it.

For me I was doing the same, noticing it and setting it aside, and thinking it was enough if I just did this, yet doing this often it still wasn't changing, it was still happening - so persistent. I could even go to sleep at night after meditation and wake up in the morning, talking away. So curious how it was, like it had a wheel of it's own, driving all by itself. I felt I needed to know something else about it in a more general sense to be able to get a stronger control over it. Why did I still do this - get sucked in - even though I knew the harm it caused me and others when I did it, it all reduced to the question of:

"What benefit do 'I' get out of it by doing it?"

I realized that one does a habit or behaves in a way, because by doing so, one gets something out of it. To drop a habit, we have to know what we get out of it by doing it, and only then when we see that, will we be ready to make a clear decision to be able to drop being in that way. One adopts a habit at a point in one's life, because it was helpful for oneself at the time one adopted it. The habit we are talking about is one that has been with humans for a long, long, time, so also why it's so hard to change/transmute/drop.

To change any habit, one must see clear what benefit it gives you to do it. Once one sees the benefit one gets - one can only 'observe this' while/when it happens to receive this understanding, it can't be understood intellectually - then one will have a new 'self-knowledge' about one's conditioned habit/aspect in a general way - what we call an 'aha' or leap in understanding.

Once we have that piece of information, then our willingness to drop it will increase and as we practice doing that more, then also we start to spend progressively more time in quiet than in talking, and our perception and ability to be present will be enhanced along with our doing this. Our growing awareness will start to pick up significantly after that - as moments of quiet time increases...

Hint: One must be willing to enter into a totally unknown, still and quiet field of being. At first this is very scary, because one has never encountered it before or been like this before, so being unknown it will take much courage to enter into this darkness.


Saturday, October 18, 2008

Question about pain in lower back and sacrum

Question: "I am wondering how others have experienced, dealt with and resolved issues that have arisen with kundalini energies in the lower back and any pain and complications resulting from it. I have developed a very distinct knot of energy, tension and pain in my lower back surrounding my sacrum. I am aware of it even when I am sleeping, stretching has done little to ease or release this tension. The other thing that is remarkably helpful is when someone places their palm over the base of my spine, it's profoundly comforting, and actually triggers a change in consciousness for me. I'm contemplating massage and or reiki because of this - but am concerned and curious about other's experiences of this."

I have experienced a knot of tension that you relate in sacrum area, and the way I resolved it was to do a standing meditation, then when meditative, to let go of my body and allow it to 'fold' or move by itself. This practice occurred to me early on, because I realized that 'being' was taking over. So then I decided to give an hour or two each day, to allow that to happen, trusting, that I could be moved like this. It started slow at first, not much movement, but as my nervous system changed, then each day it became more. So saying, eventually I was dropping into squat positions with a huge force of energy doing it, like it was melting into the muscles, flooding them with hot energy, which would then act to open the hips more and more each time. There was much pressure on the sacrum, and I have a congenital defect in the right hip, so for me it was very painful and hard to go through. What I can see happened 'with hindsight' is the fused bones of sacrum to hip girdle, unfused. This happened over many months of sessions. Then later the fused bones (or nearly fused bones) of all bones in my skull, unfused, with other kinds of spontaneous stretches. Later I concluded that the majority of energy of the transforming person, held as personality, is grown into and held in place by the bony structure that formed as one grew into adulthood. Thus to release this energy, the skeleton must separate again, and the places that are most important to be loosened are those bones, which directly attach to the central nervous system: skull bones, shoulder girdle, spine, sacrum, hip girdle. These stretches were never about trying to accomplish anything on my part, I just let my body go, and over time the transformation process happened. First thing was the hips were opened in various poses and stretches. Each time the tension would release and I would think, great, that's over, I would feel a huge release of energy coming out of the opened body part, and a big rush in freed energy, with all kinds of interesting symptoms. I would think great, that's behind me, but then in a little time, tension would build up again and I would have to start all over again. And so it goes on like this for many years, yet there is always progress, I become stretchy and elastic through all the bones of the body, including the vertebrae in neck, shoulder's and skull. So as I see it, it's a growing process, and one is opened a micron at a time, then the CNS changes, then it manifests physically as changed body posture. It's like the process is transforming old energy to new, and the old energy is held bent in lop-sided skeletal form, each time I am straighter, and also more energetic, the vibration rises each day.

I formed a word for it at the time, trying to explain it to myself. I called this bent loop of energy through the body, the cord of personality. When it first started it was like working in the hips for weeks on end, then it progressed later on to working in the shoulders for weeks. I thought, okay, it's nearly done, next is the skull and it's over. But then to my surprise it started all over again in the hips, then with less time, it moved up again to the shoulders. Then I thought, okay it needs 3 passes, like all things, which change. After the 3rd pass through, I was hoping it was done. No... It started over again. Then I noticed each time was less time between passes from tail up to skull. Today, it is one continuous movement of work, there is no gap and hardly ever separate work on body portions, the hips, shoulders, spine and skull bones all adjust in one long full-body spontaneous stretch. So this cord is like energy, it is the personality expressed in the way the body / personality has learned to be and develop, which by definition of personality is conditioned. So to be as being, one must transform this old conditioned energetic cord to a non-conditioned, free-flowing and balanced one, and this is not done by 'you' and figuring out how to do it or what you might need to do, but rather by 'YOU' as you allow it to happen. So the more you give/surrender and allow YOU to do what it needs to do, the less there is of ‘you’ and the more ‘you’ are ‘YOU”, so you change more the more you let go. It doesn't need your help, just your willingness to let go and be open to be guided.

Next you asked why’ laying on of hands’ on sacrum causes your consciousness to rise and tension is released. I think it's because when one gets more energy, it's actually easier, because the more energy you have the more awareness, it's like it encourages 'being to take over', then the change needed to be made, can only be done in this state. The tailbone/sacrum is the root of the spine, and it is where energy builds up, in a gyration fashion. So applying hands to this area (and also raising sexual energy, re: orgasm), causes energy to circle in pelvic bowl, thus it’s like building up a circular force, then this high energy is sent up the spine and energizes the whole nervous system. To make a change in any part of the system, there has to also be made a corresponding change in the skull/brain, and to change the brain/skull it needs a very high level of physical vibration to do it. So the body is one whole, like each microcosm of the body is a circle thru body and has a pathway through the brain for that body part. There are millions of these pathways. When energy rises in the Tailbone area, then it's sent up the spine, and this extra boost in energy is then enough to 'alter consciousness' (to make the voice go quiet), to change what is needed in the brain in that interval of quiet withdrawn energy, (to complete the circuit), then next a new instruction or signal of the change is sent back down into the body to make the physical change of the area that's in tension (being worked on to transform it). Okay, so this tension will resolve on it's own without you doing anything, probably when you go into deep sleep at night, when you surrender control of thinking. Yet, these periods of sleep are not that much time to do all that's needed to be done, so if one doesn't do more surrender sessions during the day, then I guess this process could go on much longer, and one might not be able to finish it even in a single life time.

In my kundalini awakening and transformation process I have used Reiki and acupressure nearly every day. The first time I used Reiki for self-healing I fell in love with it because it rose my energy so significantly, I knew that was what I needed – more energy. As I see it, it's not really reiki, which is the source of the strong energy, rather it's your own power that is this source. What generates so much energy is actually the 'laying on of hands' technique rather than the reiki symbols. I think that Reiki is simply a technique to entrain one's own resonance to a specific frequency, which is helpful to accelerate healing. No matter what technique you use, it's always your own energy signature or self that is doing the healing/change. Reiki is misunderstood this way; people think they are channeling extrernal energy. I don't see this is in fact true. When one puts one's own hands on oneself, it raises one's own energy/being; it’s like self-entrainment (this is another topic). Thus the possibility of being meditative or in quiet mind states increases as one's own energy rises, and the effectiveness of making transformative changes increases in that kind of setting.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Advanced Steps of Awareness

A Message to All People who have realized authentic steps in Awareness:

[Skipping detail of previously realized steps of awareness.]

10. (arbitrary number) After having recognized one's essential self and having studied ones reactive self, unpeeling the layers of conditioning, and dropping concepts, beliefs, etc, from doing a regular meditation practice and studying various spiritual texts, and having conversations with other spiritual people. Then one comes to a place where one feels one knows all there is to know about it, and then one becomes a 'teacher' of what one has learned. it is often the case then that when one encounters another that one looks very near to see how the other is stuck, what concept might be impeding them, and then one responds back in a creative way to try to tell the other what they can't see in themselves. This is the step of becoming a teacher, one gets value from being it, thus one is identified with it. by being like this, then what happens is one is insulated from being able to look at oneself anymore. It's all about critiquing the other, seeing where others need help. The intention is good, to help others realize, yet the problem is the one doing it, stops growing because attention is now outward. Many people are happy with this realization level, because the rewards that come back with healing and teaching others gives it's own kind of confirmation. To go beyond this step, one must realize one is doing this, and then turn back to oneself and go back to basics, with the intention to further deconstruct the deconstructor (of others. This step is the glass ceiling that today, keeps so many spiritual people from reaching further steps.

11. The next realization comes, as one becomes acutely aware of one's internal dialog and judgments about all kinds of things. One starts to realize this voice is going on all the time, it rarely ever stops. Even after years of meditation, where one believed one was being quiet in mind, one starts to see that this wasn't so, it was only what one told oneself. One's awareness is increasing, so also one's ability to see the dialog, the internal noise, becomes greater. Being aware of the non-cessant chatter, then one starts to get more serious in one's ability to turn it off, in meditation and in daily life.

12. the next realization is that of the story-teller, of of what one is telling oneself is truth and one's tendency to believe what one tells oneself is truthful reality. One's own perspective, interpretation, or viewpoint is what one believes is truth. One starts to realize everyone is doing this, so the reality is that hardly anyone is really there and present. Everyone is in their own world, the world of the dreamer. when one sees one's own dream, how one's story telling affects oneself, and how one reacts to it as truth, then one is ready to drop it.

13. After realizing the story teller, then one realizes that everything one repeats to oneself - consciousness becoming visible as thought - what one can see, is only 'one's momentary take' or one's interpretation, all of which comes out of one's past, as a reaction to happenings. One sees clearly in this step why one can never know anything, what one knows is in fact, already passé and not truth. It's simply an individual reflection of the truth, one is coloring non-formed reality with one's personal interpretation. This is fine, it's best to know the reality, thus after this you are truly open to receive any kind of information from any individual or from life, which doesn't give you confirmation for those truths you are holding. You become ready and open to drop everything, to just let things pass through you and let them go.

14. After this step above, then you start to wonder anew, what is truth, where is truth then, if it's not here? As you ponder this, it will appear to you again what is truth as it did when you first awakened so many years ago. But this time will be different you will feel it strongly, as your essence arises up. At this time, then you will be done with seeking, you have found your answer, that which you were seeking and there is no point to study any more about it. It is time now to start realizing this truth physically in the world, beyond all concepts.

15. When you start to concentrate on truth and not concepts, then your meditation starts to become really effective. The amounts of time spend in no-mind increase dramatically. It is then that you become aware of the energetic aspects of your personality and how you use the environment to provoke to be able to energize your personality to be able to react. Before you might have understood this intellectually, as a concept, but were not able to see it first hand, as your energy and emotional body gets contorted into the shape of anger or fear, for instance. You start to see that you are pretending in a major way, with all your energy, you are pretending to be alive, because when your wallow in listening to your thoughts and believing in what you heard, then you generate strong emotions in the body, and the reason you do it, is because it gives you the feeling of being alive. I call this step seeing the tricks of the ghost.

16. After you have seen the pretending ghost, then you become even more focused on increasing your energy, to do more meditation, because even though you try to not energize your personality in the way you've seen, it is in fact very difficult to hold one's energy and not react how one has been hard-wired to do it all one's life. You discover that when you have higher awareness, it's easier to do. then you also discover that higher awareness comes from doing more meditation. So at this point, you know what you want to 'be', and to do it, you need to give up more of 'being the little you'. So you increase your meditation efforts from two hours per day to 6 or 10.

17. Sensitivity to energy increases. As you increase your meditation hours, you will be looking very closely at your meditation, because you can distinguish clear between being quiet and being in talking mode, you will start experimenting with various meditation tools, to see what actually works in your meditation to get the effect you want, which is simply total silence. During this period, your sensitivity in growing strongly and you will start to become very sensitive to other energies around you, because your own energy is growing. You will start to see auras, feel energy vortices, feel differences in energy in objects such as rocks and crystals. Your intuition will be increasing and your 3rd eye is opening.

18. As you continue in this way, when your energy is high enough (you have been successful to transform energy held in personality to that of free awareness then it will trigger by itself full kundalini activation, or the physical growing. There are latent DNA instructions in your body for the second growing, but it can't be triggered until there is enough energy to do it. This will result in a full healing and remaking of your entire body, like a reverse aging, as this work transforms the final remnants of personality energy held in your physical bones and body, to that of spontaneous form or free being.

[there are more steps after this, and I'm sure more for myself as well beyond where I'm at today. As a help for you realized ones, I let you know that you are most likely on the first step in this list.]


Monday, September 22, 2008

If we could learn to see others beyond the acts & deeds of their egos would the world change?

“If we no longer saw the error in others at all but only that which is real, without agendas, programs, or ego would the world literally change in it's expression for us? "Change your mind & you change your world". If so, what are the steps one would take?”

"Learning to see others" beyond the acts and deeds of their egos, is just another way to see the world with one's mind. So you will still see what you want to see, now trading one's old concept for a new one. When one's seeing is being done with one's mind then nothing is real. To see clearly can only be done by gaining knowledge about how one sees, how one’s own object behaves, by seeing how one reacts 'directly' first-hand, by observing in oneself how one receives information, thinks, feels and reacts to stimuli. Then via this process of self-observation (in meditation) of one’s own object, to answer the question: “Who and What am I?”, one will gradually receive the answers in regards to the truth of oneself, and how one actually is.

Changing your mind, by adopting another concept, is not real change; it's more like a rearrangement of the existing pieces into a different configuration, but with no NEW energy input into the equation. New energy comes from insight, from the unknown, from the source itself; it doesn't come from the mind, which is a past-tense construct. Now, one's mind (and ability to reflect & see) will be changed by one’s essential source, all by itself as a physical process when one steps aside from one's mind, when one lets go of being identified with thinking and gets totally quiet. So then one could say, as one's mind physically changes from this process (by one’s non-thinking self), then what comes out of oneself as self-expression by that person, into the world as thoughts, feelings and reactions will be new *sometimes*, and this will cause chain-reaction of change around the world - because there is now a new energy manifest physically.

So in short, if you want to change the world, then learn how to change yourself in an essential way. That way is by doing regular and daily meditation, and letting the change happen to you, without your needing to do anything, meaning all you need to do is to set aside time each day and practice being quiet and just know it will happen when you do that. This process doesn't need your mental help, your doing, your techniques, your beliefs, your concepts or any other thing. If fact, as soon as 'you' come into the picture trying to do something, you are giving energy to the mind and becoming it and getting in the way of the process itself - it’s totally counterproductive.

So the magic here is if you make an essential change in yourself, you will change everybody along with you, and you don't even have to know him or her, as energetically there are no boundaries, we are all connected, we are all ONE.


Friday, September 19, 2008

How Exactly Does One Surrender?

When you're very still and quiet, then observe and notice how there is this nearly constant internal chatter going on -- one is thinking. As one thinks certain things, this generates emotional energy in the muscles of the body according to the 'way YOU feel' about what you are thinking. This thinking and changing one's vibration with an emotional signature is basically - being identified with one's reflection - or with one's personality -- a capability inherent in how our brains are built.

So now all that to see what not-surrendered is. Not surrendered is engaging in the mind-voice, the story telling, thinking, being identified with all that and allowing those feelings to happen. Surrender, and it's a practice, not a one-time thing, is like meditation, you work to become the still observer, quiet in thinking. So it's much like observe you are thinking, be WILLING to set all that aside and just sit in silence, it helps to have a focal point, such as feeling your breathing. Then you feel your breath go in and out, and before you know it, seconds actually, the mind-voice has started up again, and you have totally forgotten about feeling your breath (which doesn't require thinking). Then you give yourself a reminder, I don't need to think right now, I’m meditating, and you return to feeling your breath. And so you repeat this for about an hour, good to do it each day and twice a day if possible. This is 'surrender' practice. In a nutshell it's about not engaging in the fun you get out of talking to yourself (internally). I mean we do the story telling, chattering, emoting, because WE GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT. What we get out of it is the feeling this is US, that we are alive in this manner. So then you might imagine, it's kind of scary to totally 'shut-up' the first few times, because it's like we don't feel alive if we can't hear that echo of thought going on constantly inside our head.


Kriyas are like a Baby’s First Steps; they are the Symptom of YOU coming alive.

Anonymous: “Right after a Kundalini workshop I had cleansing kriyas everyday which were very intense and it taught me a lot. I always started with specific exercises which were recommended and initially it started with snake like motions, when I was able to surrender to that, there followed the yoga poses.”

Betsy: As I see kriyas, there are transforming energy held in body as personality, the movement itself is happening by awareness, and happens when one has withdrawn energy from reacting as the mind/emotions. The movement is stretching that area of the body, to open that area, which holds an element of conditioned aspects of the personality – which one is holding one’s energy there as that. So kriyas as I see them, is the process of physical transformation, and they start out sporadic and over time increase, the time between them getting less and less until one's whole life is 'kriya' or as spontaneous movement - meaning one now moves as fully aware, not needing the mind.

Anonymous: “The best tip I had, was the tip that during meditation you DON'T have to sit STILL, to do so just blocks the flow, and that the silence will come automatically once the clearings are done and the energy can move freely.”

Betsy: That's a good tip, and good wisdom there at the end. I would just add that clearing is the process, so not to see it as 'done' or as a goal or one time thing. I think too many think of some people having blocks, more or less than others, and then kriyas only happen to remove blocks. I see the whole structure of personality as being one's current state of being, reflected as the body and it is loaded with millions of blocks. As one clears the blocks, one reclaims and transforms one's energy, it's a process, and one’s kriya movements will increase as one’s energy rises.

Anonymous: “At a later stage came 'having fun, dancing, dry orgasms and even spontaneous singing. Then I had an encounter with another being and after they left I cried; soon there followed the more heavy, mental, parts of the clearing, which still goes on.”

Betsy: There are all kinds of experiences in this process, and many like you say. For sure it's a highly sexual process and that is a big part of it. Laughing happens and crying, and unloading one's concepts and belief system - the mental aspect as you say. There is also the emotional component and then the more physical component, which is what I was referring to previously. Then there is the individual perspective, and how one experiences the whole process, which makes ‘everyone’s’ experience seem so different, not allowing us to see the commonalities within it as a ‘biological process’.

Anonymous: I heard from other teachers that kriyas are shaped by your own cultural references and experiences. So if your references are Indian dance, yoga and tai-chi that's whatyou'll get […]

Betsy: I haven't seen this, but obviously I don't agree. If it's shaped by cultural preferences, then it's happening via mind constructs or conditioning - one's movement is being channeled with thought, not pure non-mind movement. So it also makes sense to me that people think this, because they are still mostly identified with their personality when it starts, and can't discern beyond this conclusion. People can agree or disagree with me, it's not important to me and I won't go into an argument about it. For me, it's obvious that the kriyas are working to separate the spinal column bones, cranial bones and all joints connected to it: hip girdle, shoulder girdle and tmj and occipital ridge/atlas, to break apart the foundation or keystone of personality which is energy held most deeply in the formation of the skeleton during one’s growing. It’s a biological process and I have discerned the pattern of the movements and the purpose for them, because I have been through much of this process.

Anonymous: […] or if you're an Eskimo you'll get something that relates to you and doesn't scare you. Kundalini Energy is loving and doesn't want to scare you. It'll have you clear your body in a way that feels natural and familiar too you, if you don't resist it.

Betsy: Kundalini Energy doesn't have such attributes, it has no attributes, as pure energy it's unconditioned. Seeing it as loving, or as painful or as wanting to scare or not scare, these are 'judgments' or attitudes of personality, and are individual perspectives. The one that gets scared is one's essential energy (as the kundalini force), being identified with thoughts and emotions (reactions) and attaching to that. When one drops one’s own clinging to reactive thought coming out of one’s past, then it is the case that one is not resisting, and then there is no fear nor any other kind of judgment.

Anonymous: I don’t take the time anymore to let kriyas happen, but when I give a massage and the energy is good, kriyas automatically happen. I tend to end up in either Krishna or Shiva-like poses sending energy, or manipulating the person's energy grid, but I have no clue to what is actually happening.

Betsy: When your energy rises, as when you get any good energetic treatment like massage, then this is the condition to help your 'being arise', and at the same time let go of being as the personality (mind/reaction). It’s like a quick rise in energy being input into your system, and it will shock you out of identifying with your mind/personality and then healing starts in that interval - thus the kriyas happen with you. Treatments are good in most modalities, because they temporarily rise your energy flows and this is the right condition in which it is easier to shock you out of the old mode of being – behaving in conditioned ways as being identified with the personality – so you now can ‘let go’ of all that. So you see, even this doesn't need your doing. It’s like yourself just takes over when it can, when you give yourself what you need: more energy.

Anonymous: As always I still doubt myself that I’m not unconsciously pushing it in some direction that my ego likes to see.

Betsy: It's much better to have uncertainty and doubt, and to express that honestly, as that creates space for receiving, answers and growth. Thanks for your comments.

Letting Go of Conscious Control of One’s Body in Kundalini Awakening

Anonymous:” The way you describe things reminds me most of the way Noguchi describes what he simply called katsugen undou, or the 'exercise that gives life'. ( The preparatory movements are for beginners to learn how to fall into 'katsugen'.”

Betsy: I liked the link, partly because it tells how this spontaneous form can be done. Comparing to what I do, I see the preparatory exercises serve to activate one's energy centers, raising one's vibration similar to activating one's being or life force. Thus when done, it's easier to get some movement when one lets go of conscious control of one's body. What I intuited to do is activate all the meridians using acupressure, which I think is stronger that what's written here - to activate oneself. One thing missing from this is a meditative focus point, which is also needed as one lets go.

Anonymous: “I have found good reasons for various modalities, though their aims and purposes are quite different. I have found that the specific is there to allow you to engage directly with an aspect of your self either for healing or cultivation, using the method as a mirror.”

Betsy: What I've learned is that aims and purposes aren't very useful because then the personality has a goal, and I progressed more when I gave up trying to accomplish anything. But also this kind of decision will happen in its time, when one realizes the truth of it, and can't be forced. In whatever practice one does, if it has a meditative element, then I think it's good.

Anonymous: Whether it is a physical aspect or an energetic or spiritual one, the methods are not meant to be 'done', rather they are meant to be driven by the 'energy' being looked at.

Betsy: "driven by the 'energy' being looked at" is a paradox. if the 'energy' being looked at is fact one's true self, then how can one be looking at it?

Anonymous: An old term is dao yin or 'guiding qi', you are working with a particular aspect for a reason (healing) and guiding it, not with the mind but with the method as the mind watches. I think the qigong/neigong methods are meant to be like that, that is one side of the polarity.

Betsy: I think the forms of yoga, taichi, etc., work sometimes to make one enter into a meditative state for several reasons. The first is that exercise activates one's energy centers, thus raises one's awareness. The second is that when one does the practice regular, each day, then as well as rising one's awareness thru exercise there is happening micro healing each time and more energy can flow, so also one's overall awareness is rising. Then it can happen that 'being takes over', in the space of doing the exercise, because it becomes so automatic, that one can let go of one's thinking process. The experience the person has, is then of the exercise happening all by itself. This is the meditative state, or that of no mind.

After one has that experience, then one wants it back, and there will be often years, of trying to accomplish it again, trying to find out 'how did I do that?'. Or 'what do I need to do to make it happen like that every time?'. Then there can be years of close observation and experimentation to see 'what you need to do to make it happen'. I went through similar with sitting meditation. So my take on it, is that as long as one is in control, driving with one's intentions', goals, amassing techniques, attaching to the technique - all using one's mind and being identified with 'properties of personality', etc., then it's not meditative because one's current realization is not yet ready to let go of attaining things for oneself (or one's reflected aspect). In order to be able to stop being like this, it will need a revelation of self-knowledge about oneself and how one is made up, which can't be intellectually grokked. This answer is received and it will come when one is ready to get it, and as long as one continues doing one's meditative practice. When this answer is received, one is done with seeking, not as understanding what that might be, but truly done with it, because of the nature of what was received. So it's not really so important the technique one is doing,any vehicle can be used, what is important is being meditative and doing it as much as possible and to keep self-questioning, to keep questioning one's own reactive nature, to keep a fine eye on what one can observe 'inside', etc.

Anonymous: “Much as in the same way that you cannot take in equally all that your eyes view all of the time, you can do this sometimes, but other times you move your attention from more specific things to other specific things.”

Betsy: So you tell me, that you can enter into a meditative state - "sometimes", so one can receive everything at once, when there is no focused/mental intention. So then that's the truth one needs to realize, and just get better at observing, when that 'all seeing' versus 'narrow seeing' flips back and forth. What was one doing when each happened, etc. Awareness happens in the space when there is zero intention, it doesn't need 'our help'.

Anonymous: “The other is 'just being' and the spontaneous 'kriya', 'qigong', 'katsugen' is the other polarity. Here the body and energies are allowed to be and take the form/rhythms that they are at any given time, and so find balance themselves (like water finding a level).

Betsy: Being is the one moving oneself, no matter where one is at in one's evolution, even if one is acting as a dense personality. Bodies and energies aren't separate from oneself. Body is what one's energy (you) has created. The driver is always you, but one's driving ability depends upon what one has realized, in how far one's body has been 'healed' or 'changed'. As one's awareness gets stronger, via reducing the old form of personality (one reclaims that energy and transforms it while in the meditative state - as 'non doing'), then one's movement 'as being’ will simply be more that and less as moving with mind and emotions as personality (what one is evolving away from).

Anonymous:” I think B P Chan's comments (paraphrased) "why do you think we learn these complicated healing arts? You know, hold your hand this way, keep the feet parallel, breathe like this,I want to find out, is this really my hand? Is this really my leg?" Can apply equally to the spontaneous 'formless form' too, certainly as you describe it. It is just the body/energy exploring itself as you witness it, rather than using a method/mirror- hahaha.

Betsy: I hear you... I think because we 'as personalities' are driven by desire and as 'essence', we are driven by wanting 'more light'. But because we start out as the former, then our practice becomes one of something to attain. We keep doing it that way, until we learn how futile this is, which takes it's time -- steps we have to go through before we can give up this kind of wanting. So any technique is performed according to one's actual realization - one can't skip steps, nor do it better than what one is. So another topic, is that one can't move spontaneously until one's awareness can support it. So I guess it might be frustrating to try a spontaneous form technique and then have nothing happen, so then one would stop with it. I don't suggest people try it, until kriyas have actually started.

I recall that I didn't start doing it, until it started happening by itself, which was after the criss-cross spinal column remaking and then I think around 3 weeks of body parts going numb and tingling -- I think this was a major change to my nervous system, and then after, I just noticed that I was totally moving without thinking. The next step for me then was to just start out standing and learn to let go and let myself move. At the time I got frustrated with it, thinking I didn't get it, because I could only 'float' from standing to sitting, then I would 'lose it'. Turns out, it was because my body had not changed enough yet to do it. The practice session itself, the kriya movements are what change the body (when it starts). Over time the kriyas get closer together, as they progress they grow into more fluidity, closer to one continuous 24/7 movement. Then it's interesting because one can move for a whole hour in kriyas, and an outside observer would think you are voluntarily doing it or with 'some technique', yet you aren't, it's being totally done without mind. Which I see is the purpose of all this, we are transforming our old brain which supported the structure of personality - kind of a reflected world into direct spontaneous interaction with things and happenings as they occur. So it's a growing process, and one changes to the new when in the meditative state of true quiet or 'no mind', little by little, as all energy has to be withdrawn from activity in the brain in order to change the brain itself, and this happens in this interval of silence.

Betsy (prior): Spontaneous Kriya Movement, is not very sexy, not very appealing, not entertaining, not dance like and not an easy thing to do.

Anonymous: Hahaha, no I can imagine not : ) I am not at the place where the spontaneous form is driven from a strong 'energetic' movement. I use the memory or the spontaneous movement that occurred after receiving shaktipat, and allow any swaying, rocking, spasms, noises or other movements to come forth…

Betsy: I too used an altered state experience as a memory/guide in my years of work. First to be able to know when I might be like that - so experimenting with different things to see what works and what not and second to remind myself not to stop this 'work' thinking I had 'awakened (knowing how one can easily fool oneself with one's own mental conclusion - I gave up listening to that) until I would FEEL exactly like that 24/7. I keep working towards that, not as a goal, but doing my practice and seeing what works, asking questions when I don't know, and listening and acting upon what I receive as answers. Because things progress, that is the only feedback and confirmation I need, as one becomes more alive it gives a new kind of confirmation 'directly', that doesn't need anyone else's or any other experts approval. This is all about becoming independent and learning to trust.

Spontaneous Movements or Kriyas Happen to Long Time Mediators (The origin of Yoga)

Anonymous: “I initially thought that the spontaneous movements were not mentioned in Yoga (but they are mentioned and are called Kriyas).

Betsy: Yoga is thought to have originated from spontaneous movements happening to long time meditators... So then they develop a ritual/form/technique hoping to get the same result - of awakening.

Anonymous: “However, last year I was very interested to discover the Yogi's spontaneous Dance of Shiva mentioned as un-codified freestyle taichi movements. Therefore, the answer to my original question is that there are so many types of naturally occurring Kundalini Kriyas and exercises that only the more common types are grouped together and given names.”

Betsy: I'm more interested in the reason behind, why a kriya, and thus this has been my question and after 1,000's of hours of kriyas, I have a pretty good idea of what is the reason behind. That there is a rhyme and reason for it is clear to me, and it's part of healing and transformation. Stretching is the way the body uses to open blocked areas, it excites nerve and muscle cells. I don't experience the kriyas as very dance like or with finger poses or tai chi forms, not outwardly, but it can feel like that as one 'rides the wave', as another put it and allows one's Central Nervous System (CNS) to control one's body without using the mind. There are yoga-like poses, but not very many and not many happen in one session, usually only three or 4 - basically: standing, forward bend at hips with arms dangling, upwards and downwards dog, sitting spinal twists, lying on back, lying on stomach with cobra lift of head on supported arms. Lying on stomach with top of head on mat and 'neck pops' with legs and arms in a kind of frog shape, one feels pressure on the sacrum and neck at same time. Deep squats with legs apart to open pelvic bowl. Sitting with legs to front and slow lowering of spine. Sitting with legs folded, child's pose, sitting Indian style, but not with feet on top of thighs.

That's all I can recall over 3.5 years. I have all these notes each day, so at least I record it, and apparently I’m pretty alone with going through it like this. What I've been through is in the last years doesn’t look so pretty, not very appealing, not entertaining, not dance like and not an easy thing to do - challenging me to my core and to my endurance and ability to continue on with it. But getting a totally rebuilt skeleton and body and being restored to full health and vibrancy is a great benefit, not to mention the rising awareness, enhanced sensory apparatus, etc. But positively the most awesome and thrilling thing I've ever done, and I would do it again and go through all that pain again, if asked to do so...

Anonymous: “I now recall that, a few years back, a Kundalini teacher said something like "don't be distracted or mesmerized by the Kriyas because they occur on the path but are not the path nor the goal". "The best approach is to just observe or witness the spontaneous Kriyas and enjoy the experience." There is no need to try to control them because by that point it is too late.”

Betsy: this advice has to do with the tendency of one's personality to take over and make something out of nothing, to create a technique, to name it, to follow a regime, to 'be conditioned'. It is also given in meditation, in regards to 'maya' or symptoms experienced through this process. So then meditators get trapped trying to create 'altered states' of reality. That the same happens with people that want to have kundalini transformation, they pretend they are having kriyas or get lost in technique. The hard part is we are used to doing things via learned behavior through conditioned (where we're coming from and evolving away from), and we just can't seem to grasp the simple idea of 'we don't have to do anything'. The more we let go, the more it progresses all by itself, it doesn't need any technique, etc.

Anonymous: “It's interesting how, even when one knows the theory (in theory), it is quite different to be able to apply it in practice at the right time and place for practical purposes”.

Betsy: so you see, this is inherently problematic: knowing isn't helpful, applying what you know isn't helpful. The more you try to apply what you know 'as practice', is equal to -> learned or conditioned behavior. This requires engagement of the mind and focusing one's energy through thought, this doesn't work, this process only progresses when one can drop all that 'old way of doing'. It's needs no direction, no technique and no knowing.

Kundalini Awakening Symptoms & Evolution to a New Species of Human

Anonymous asked: ”The following exercise/activity has been occurring regularly for several weeks, perhaps even a few months. I get the urge/feeling to lie down and nothing happens for a few seconds. Then a specific pattern of breathing begins, where it seems to speed up and sometimes the breath is held, beyond what is comfortable. > I experience Mula Bandha (i.e. contraction of the sphincter) consistent with the breathing, at the end of the breath out. There is also a formation of the Surya Mudra hand symbol during the session, which lasts at least until the end of the session. In more recent sessions, I have felt some strong tingling or tickling activity at the site of the third eye and also at the base of the sternum. At some points there is spontaneous spine wriggling, the spine feels as if it is getting stretched straight. Mostly the process is enjoyable and relaxing and energizing and I can feel occasional thrilling rushes of energy. This can easily last from 30 to 60 minutes. Any ideas about what is happening and do you have any suggestions about what to do?”

What you describe is possibly the beginning of nervous system changes being done to your spinal column in a more profound way. As one's awareness gets higher, due to regular practice of some form of meditation, then this is because one's nervous system is being changed in the interval that one has 'withdrawn energy' away from being the thinker. The brain changes, then later it gets reflected in the lower body as the cells are remade. As one's awareness continues to grow - little by little, eventually it reaches a high enough level to start to trigger larger nervous system changes.

The need to lie down and the feeling of movement in the sphincter area is an indication to me, that the spine is being worked on. You might soon start to feel it like a butterfly moving more actively there, the first time this really got strong for me, it was quite profound. What I started doing at this time was what I now call - 'moving as awareness' meditation. Basically I stand and enter into meditative state, then let go of my body, allowing it to move to whatever position it wants to move to. This is allowing awareness to move you without thought, so it could be called 'spontaneous movement', because you are not voluntarily moving your body with thought/decision to do so. So in standing, just keep checking that you are not 'holding your body', and work to relax any held tension.

Probably you will go quick down to lying like before, but there might occur other poses of spine on the way down. Don't force it, just allow yourself to melt and move all by yourself. The breathing often goes into apnea - no breath, while it works in the chest and in the brain and takes on these patterns, it means there is stronger working energy inside your body working in the nervous system. When work is done in lungs and heart and in throat areas of body, then breathing stops.

Often I’ve noticed breathing patterns, but I think it's better not to pay attention to it, as this takes you out of meditative state. If you can keep your focus simply on the vibration like feeling in the groin, lower abdomen or in your legs, without trying to make it be in any way - then this can help you stay meditative and the kundalini transformation process will be more effective.

When there is tingling then this is an area of the body opening and making new nerve connections. With the strong gyration in groin and tingling in 3rd eye, then you see there are connections being made along the spine itself. It's like a strengthening or enhancement of the existing nervous system in the spine. The spontaneous spine wriggles and stretch is your system energizing the muscle cells, charging them to move and open the tissues involved and strengthen the nervous system. See it like a maze of nervous system paths being created in the brain and then in the body, in millions of directions. Every second you free 'essential' energy by being totally quiet; you unleash this force in your brain. Often after a stretch, you will feel what I call 'shimmering shivers', or rushes of energy traveling the length of the spine. This indeed feels good, whereas sometimes you will feel strong tension, like a strong physical therapy or 'pain' in the muscles. I usually hold these tension positions, until I feel tingling or a release.

If one doesn't resist such 'strong tension', and just becomes the observer of this feeling and doesn't resist, then more opens. In this way you also become very good at learning to discern when you are quiet and when you are not, intensifying the process further. Sometimes you will feel like you are freezing cold as spinal changes progress. Also you might start to enter into a phase where it feels like a criss-cross pattern, like laces in a shoe being done all along the spine. This happened for me over 8 hours with me sitting in one position, I think it was sitting with legs out to front straight, bent over, being slowly lowered, like one notch at a time through the vertebrae. At the time I thought I had to sit until 'the internal work' finished, so often I would go into these long sessions -- going too extreme I can see now, which isn't necessary. It will pick up where you left off next time. One hour to 1 1/2 hour long sessions are the most effective, and taking breaks in between.

Anonymous replied:
Thank you for your detailed explanations. Your description of the 'moving as awareness' meditation sounds very similar to experiences that I have had, that I thought of as spontaneous taichi or qigong (although I don't know taichi or qigong). Looking back on events that have happened, I do remember a butterfly or fluttering feeling, during Nauli Kriya exercises. I can deduce that a lot of internal work has been going on for years, helped by the Yoga practices, although I was not aware of the extent of the progress until recent years.

You’re welcome. I agree with you that this work has been 'going on for years', and it is later that we realize that fact, when spontaneous movements start. I'm pretty sure that every micro-second that we are truly quiet in mind, these internal nervous system changes are happening in that interval. So the more you practice and the more effective your practice (you really can succeed in quiet mind), then the more these changes happen. It surprised me when the spontaneous movements started and the 'pick up' in intensity with physical changes; because it was something hardly any masters were talking about. Looking in the histories of various adepts, I don't see much talk about 'this aspect'.

As i see it we are growing as a species over time, and what many are encountering these days is relatively new territory, and the history seems to support that notion. So then I don't think you will find a name for this phenomena. The way I see it is we've mostly learned from years of meditation about quiet mind, so the difference in state between active and quiet mind. This is actually a kind of growing phase, where the nervous system changes. After enough changes happen then it starts to affect body movement, the kundalini changes in the body are basically preparing for moving the body or reacting to stimuli without the mind.

So you see, spontaneous movement is not like voluntary movement of the body - this is what we are moving away from. A totally quiet mind, full awareness, must also have the same capability in the body. As the mind changes little by little in quiet mind states, then the body is also changing. The whole kundalini process is working towards a new kind of body that doesn't need the old way the brain works with 'reflected thought'. To move voluntarily, we think, make a decision; the muscles get the signal, the body moves. To move spontaneously (without thought), then one just needs to move.

This is an evolutionary advantage for survival, in that one can quickly and more efficiently react and adapt to stimuli one encounters. There is no name for it, but we can coin our own if we are so inclined. I don't really like spontaneous because it implies that it is happening all by itself. The reality is we are moving ourselves in 'spontaneous movements’; it's just that we aren't quite yet comfortable with knowing ourselves at that. We are in between, in a metamorphosis, mostly familiar with the way to move voluntarily. So those spontaneous movements seem like someone else is doing it. As one proceeds, as the body changes, one will start to identify more with the source and see this truth directly: "I am doing it."


Saturday, August 30, 2008

Crying is Healing

Where does deep emotional pain come from?

While we were growing in the womb, we were pretty much protected from the changing world outside us, mostly all of our needs were taken care of and we were pretty comfortable. From the time of our birth onward, then we are assaulted with the realities of the world, of unconscious people and start to experience things which hurt us. As an infant we are having experiences and the way we perceive these then, is nearly all as feelings, as our cognitive level and mind has not yet been developed. These early experiences are then laid down as our first teachings and are felt at a deep level and form an imprint which becomes the base of our growing personality. Later we will develop the cognitive or intellectual aspects of our personality, which are laid down on top of the feeling imprint, from about age 4 on up to adulthood when we stop growing. The feeling imprint which was laid down as an infant will have an influence on the mental defensive strategies that are laid down later. All parts effect the others. Then there is the growing phase itself, which happens from conception up until the last wisdom teeth erupt, which covers the physical attributes of our body itself. When growing stops, then it is that the personality is fully formed. After the end of growing, then it is most often the case that personalities are enlarged, but this is another topic….

As we Grow Up we experience Pain

So it is that as we grow up and our personality develops, it will happen to all of us that we have experiences which felt hurtful to us, which can be intellectual pain, emotional pain or physical pain from bodily injury. When we have a hurtful experience, then our survival instinct kicks in and then what we do is try to find ‘a strategy’ to avoid being hurt again. We are by instinct ‘pain avoidant’, so we are not aware we are building a defensive strategy at the time we do it, it pretty much happens at a subconscious level. If our sense of intellect was hurt, then we might change our intellectual pattern, denying to think in the way that hurt us and changing it to something else. If we were hurt emotionally, then we might try to forget or deny those things which caused us pain, perhaps by burying memories or by choosing not to express one’s feelings in an open way again. If we were physically hurt, then we have a tendency to mentally protect that area of the body, by not allowing as much range of movement in it, or by favoring the opposite side. So you might remember limping on a sore foot to protect it, long after the injury was healed. So then as we grow up, we go through different phases of development and depending upon what is our individual perception of our experiences, we will each lay down a unique defense strategy for all aspects of our personality. While we are growing up, for most people we are not aware of the defense system we are building up, this is mostly subconscious and stays in the background level.

Defense systems protect, but eventually they will have to be rebuilt.

The negative side effect of this process, is that it ends up that we don’t let the energy move through our body for self-expression in totality for our physical, intellectual and emotional aspects. What we are doing is channeling or directing energy flows in the body artificially with our mind, emotions and body postures, for the now forgotten reason we needed before ‘to protect ourselves’. In effect, this creates dark spots or unused areas in our body, mind and feelings – where we don’t let energy flow or in converse we create overused areas, repeating things which seem safe to us in body, mind and feeling. If we don’t use an area, then it happens that energy stops flowing through it and this can be a spot where disease in he body starts. if we overuse an area, then it happens that this area ‘gets worn out’, it’s like creating a rut, and in both cases it happens that the energy flows in the body of the adult are no longer free, flowing and balanced in all aspects of oneself. Compare this to how one’s energy was flowing as an infant, totally open with no defense system in place. Over time as this goes on unchecked, imbalances in the body will amplify, eventually resulting in mental, emotional and/or physical health issues.

Breakdown of the Defense Systems of the Personality

The defensive system of the personality has it’s benefits, the first being that it can help a child living around unconscious adults survive, and the second being that it is an intermediate structure which is collecting energy as accumulated experiences and is a stepping stone to reach further steps in our awareness. When the defense system of the personality has grown so large and is using nearly all one’s free energy to defend oneself in various ways, then it is that one has arrived to the point where the armor of defense has become excessive and is now threatening and detrimental to one’s survival to continue to hang onto it. If there are too many restrictions of energy flow, then it will start to harm the organism itself, because there is not enough free energy left over to be used for maintaining a healthy system. This is actually a natural progression of the growth of personality over lifetimes, so individuals will reach this point of ‘excess’ at different ages depending upon their past experiences and all that has come before. At the point it is reached, then it will happen that energy which was used to build up this defensive structure will now start to release. As energy is released from the structure, it will open up more of those ‘blocked’ areas of the body which were prior being used to defend oneself. The newest layers of defense are taken down first, and it proceeds as it goes into older and deeper layers. The older the defense system, the deeper, the more strong it is and the less one is aware about it’s existence. When one reaches the point of ‘enough is enough’ and experiences more pain than pleasure with one’s personality, then this is a turning point where one will start to ‘give up’ and let it go. This can also be seen as the point of starting to dissolve the structure of personality and when ‘awareness’ or ‘spirituality’ begins.

Being unaware of thoughts & feelings (the defensive nature of personality) is what builds up stress

Another thing many of us are doing unconsciously is that we are not aware of our thoughts and feelings at a deep level, we can’t see within clearly and we are not sure what we think and what we are feeling, we are little aware of what is happening in our internal space. So it happens that one’s thinking goes on in autopilot mode, constant chattering in the background with mental arguments and with repeated trains of thoughts. This kind of ‘story telling’ has it’s affects and will generate emotional energy in the body according to the nature of the thoughts. This is how the motor nervous system works, the thinking channel is directly connected to the motor neuron system which connects nerve and muscles cells together allowing for us to be able to ‘voluntary move’ our body the way we choose to with thoughts. Emotion (different than instinctual feelings, because they are based on what we think) is an energy charge built up in the muscles to be used to express oneself in a particular way. If we are not aware of this process, then it happens that stress builds up in the muscles of the body because we are not monitoring our thoughts, then also it’s often the case we are not aware of how our body feels or what we feel either, and so it is that not being aware of ‘how we work’, it happens that emotional charges build up in the body, causing ‘stress’ or held tension.

How is stress released from the body?

The only way to remove the stress charge already built up in muscles is to stretch the muscles and to learn not to accumulate it in the first place. This unchecked stress is like an internal tension, creating an internal pressure, which can’t be contained forever. Just like a volcano that is filling with gas, the pressure is building and as it does this strong force is pushing against that which is containing the pressure (the walls of the volcano itself). From this continuous tension, a crack will eventually form and when it does the pressure inside will release and along with it, there is an explosion as the huge force is released. So stress is released ‘cataclysmically’ in an intense way when it is held at bay for too long. So one should be aware of the laws of nature, that eventually the container will wear out, and especially so when subject to extreme forces. In the case of humans the shell here is the ‘defensive system of the personality’, and so when a crack appears in this structure, it will happen that some of this pent up pressure will be released. The amount released depends upon how large of a hole in the defense system was ‘let go of’ and how much internal pressure was built up.

Periods of Prolonged Crying (Crying Jags) are huge Healing events

So it can sometimes happen when healing that a ton of bottled up thoughts and feelings will come rushing out, and into ‘conscious awareness’, which can be painful while going through it. The more crying, the more emotoinal pain and hurting you feel, then you can know the more pent up energy you are releasing. After big openings in one’s personal defensive armor, it is not uncommon that one can cry every day for up to 3 weeks straight. This is totally normal, this is healing, and should not be suppressed, crying is the vehicle the body and system uses to clear out and release old held emotional energy. So if you are going thorugh this, know it is healing and after it is done you will feel much better. Let the tears of crying wash away the pain of the past and allow you to reclaim your essential energy.


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Poem: In a Clear Blue Sky

In a clear blue sky
mountains become visible
revealing our smallness.
Relating to encounters
one's walking makes the pathway.

Distant peaks invite
challenges urge us onward
goals set intention.
Boulder's block one's direction
frustration is sign to change.

Dark clouds obscure view
resistance to change causes pain
strength comes from center.
Withdrawn from circle of self
each time 'you' give, YOU will rise.


Why do Humans Resist Change?

For a real change to happen there must be a transformation of energy, from the old form to the new form. This process, of the old dying and of the new forming, is perceived by the one having the experience as a sensation of pain. This is because the transformation process itself is biological and the intense heat given off from the old tissue releasing the held energy and changing into the new tissue is truly painful. This is true on all levels of our physical existence including our thoughts, emotions and body (our own form) and also of the forms outside of us, such as organizations or structures, etc. It is painful to find out one might be wrong in one's thinking, it is painful to cry; it is painful to heal torn muscles or broken bones. But know that all pain is healing; pain is the symptom of transformation - of the old giving rise to the new.

We have pain sensors all over our body to protect us in case our life is physically threatened, so our innate tendency is to avoid the experience of pain. The problem comes in with our identification with our personality or self-image. We have the tendency to believe that the energy that keeps the personality together is a physical entity and thus we avoid anything, which might threaten its demise, because this kind of transformation also causes pain: mental, emotional and physical. So we avoid anything, which might be painful, because pain for us is a signal that we might be dying.

What we need to know is that the energy held in the personality (and in all forms) is mutable, it's not our permanent self (its not a permanent structure), and if we allow for the transformation of this energy we will not die (the things won't disappear). Allowing for transformation to take place means we are allowing ourselves to adapt to changes that are happening around us. With this attitude we are physically mutable and thus much more likely to survive, then if we resist change. If we resist changing ourselves when happenings indicate, then what we are doing is becoming more solid or holding our energy as being the personality in a kind of tension. This holding of energy to try to maintain static familiar shapes is that which restricts the flow of energy and causes pain and subsequently acquired disease, conflict, aging and illness to build up in our physical body. All structures become weaker the more they resist change. If we let go of what we are holding onto, then this pent up energy is released from the personality and back to our body causing a transformation of ourselves - now we feel the pain - as the old part of us dies and another part takes place in it's spot. Nothing is ever lost, a new form always supercedes the old, and the new is adapted to the existing changing conditions around us and is thus more likely to survive.

While transformation of one's personality is painful, it doesn't have to be EXPERIENCED that way. This is because we have the ability to be the observer of ‘personal’ transformational energies when they happen - from the observation platform one can observe the process but one doesn't feel pain because one is no longer identified with the old form. This is known as being the observer. It is being in this position as the observer, which then is that which allows the old form to transform into the new. After experiencing this kind of transformation then we become secure in the position of the observer - at the center -knowing that we can never truly lose ourselves or lose anything. Then we see that all is transformation, and to allow ourselves to change we survive, and then we allow change to happen whenever it’s needed.


Sunday, August 24, 2008

What does being Independent mean to you?

For me, Independent means 'independent from authorities'.

This is all about self-sovereignty, it's about becoming a master over one's own life, it's about learning to make decisions and live one's live according to one's truth. This is not to say when one is independent that one doesn't consult other people and get other people's feedback in regards to decisions that one makes. It is about becoming one with oneself and integrating all the skills one has of observation and questioning. It is like being spiritual and a scientist at the same time, one integrates the two parts of reality - what one can observe - the past or the happening and what one can intuit about it by questioning what one has observed and waiting or listening to receive an answer.

So for example, something 'new' and 'unknown' happens in your life, which requires that you make a decision on how to proceed. Because you've never encountered exactly these circumstances before, it is an unknown for you. To be able to proceed and make a good decision, which is in-line with your life and journey, then you make use of what is available to make your decision or conclusion. You observe the happening, you get information about it by doing research, questioning others, consulting experts, etc. Part of this is observing yourself, your reactions & your current life. Then after you've questioned all that you can about the happening, then you will need to make a decision on how to proceed. To do this next step, then you ask yourself, what rings true here, what is it in my heart that I really want to do here, what is the best possible scenario. Because you've never encountered this scenario before, then you can only make 'your best guess', the best decision possible; even it might turn out to be a mistake. But that is how we learn, and the more we rely on our what’s in our heart to make the final decision, then the more we will grow in self-sovereignty and self-reliance, knowing truly that we are in control of our own destiny, that nobody is forcing us to make our decision the way others might dictate.

To contrast this, it might help to know what being dependent means. It means that instead of making your own decision in regards to what to do, you just do what others tell you, or you do what is normal - what the majority is doing. People take this route, because they don't want to accept responsibility in case the decision they make ends in disaster or is a mistake. The benefit of this is that if a mistake happens, you can then give the fault to another person and feel like a victim: you told me to do this, or the doctor misdiagnosed my disease, or the lawyer made a mistake, etc. Then you can take it a step further and sue the people who 'did you wrong'. That's pretty much the society we have today, a bunch of sheep, not taking self-responsibility, going with the crowd, and then when bad things happen they find someone else to blame it on. What a game this is, and all because people are afraid to take ownership of their life and wield their abilities to observe, question and make decisions.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

What is Meditation & What are the Benefits?

Meditation is Great for Releasing Stress

I have a friend who has been meditating for 50 years, and he now calls meditation -> "Stress Release Exercise". So you see, the practice of meditation reduces and relieves stress, rather than builds it up. Meditation is basically the practice of resting your thinking, You can try it for free, and make your own decision if it helps or not. The best is you do it each day, twice a day, for around 30 minutes each time and do it for at least 3 weeks straight to be able to see a result. Then if you decide you get a benefit, then you can make it part of your daily life, just like you brush your teeth every day. It's much like that, a preventative mental, physical and emotional health routine which you do every day.

How to Do Meditation

To do it, find a quiet place free of distractions, then get comfortable and close your eyes, the most important is your body is relaxed, not so much that you try to keep a certain body posture like many recommend. Then just put your attention on FEELING your breath move in and out of your body, which can be anywhere along the path of the breath. Re, you can notice the feeling of air coming in and out of your nose or into your lungs, or into your diaphragm. The important thing is you just are feeling the breathing happen, you don't have to breath in any certain way. Breathing happens all by itself, you don't have to 'do breathing' or think about breathing, you have nothing to do here except FEEL your breath move in and out. As you practice this, you will notice that you lose contact with the attention you had on feeling your breathing, what has happened is the thinking has started up. Don't worry about the thoughts or what the content of them are, just make a mental note - I was thinking - then refocus on feeling the breathing. If you try to examine your thoughts, then it will trigger more thinking and before you know it you will be only thinking. So for meditation time, it's good to have a reminder: this is not the time that I need to think. I can think later if I need too... This interruption of thinking happening and losing contact with simple feeling of breath will repeat over and over, this is totally normal. As you proceed in meditation practice it will become easier to feel the breath, and become more aware of when thinking has become predominant.

Why does Meditation reduce Stress?

The reason this practice reduces stress is because stress is caused by thinking. It's like you think all these things - re: all you have to do, and you don't have time to do it, then there's a conflict, the muscles hold tension and you have stress. Thinking goes a lot faster then what you can physically do, so the more you think things should be different than what they are, which is most of the time with thoughts, then the more stress you build up. As you learn to become more aware of thinking and breathing from continued daily practice of meditation, as you get better at tuning into what happening inside you, you will start to learn more about your basic make-up, personality, awareness and body and how all of you works. This is known as 'self-knowledge', which will allow you to take steps in your awareness levels. Eventually you get better at accepting what is happening 'right now' and learning to respond to it as needed, versus spending so much time thinking you can do more than is truly possible. So you see, if you continue you will stop building up stress in the first place, you will be able to catch that over active thinking pattern when it happens and be able to 'set it aside' and simply breath - even during the day - thus you become more in control of everything that you experience.

It's a very important life skill to learn how to control the reactions of thinking and emotions and physical actions. All that a human can do, the first thing that always happens is thought, this precedes all else, so becoming aware of thinking is paramount to have true will power and focus and control of yourself. When one's thinking is overactive, usually certain thoughts are repeating or a certain nature, which create an emotional energy in the body according to the underlying nature or tone of the thoughts. Thinking is part of the nervous system and is what allows us to act, so just prior to a movement in body, energy is built up in the appropriate muscles as an electric charge to allow us that movement. So think, emotion, then act. When one is thinking, one is building emotional energy in the muscles, if one doesn't act upon that which is set up, then this is 'stress'. Basically charges are in the muscles, but it is not released through action. By learning to only think when needed - when one needs to take an action, then one becomes more energy efficient, not building up unnecessary energy in the body when it's not needed.


Monday, August 11, 2008

Is it true that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"?


"What doesn't kill you", refers to facing a challenge that is beyond your comfort zone. So to go through an experience which is hard and sometimes painful. The reason why is it is hard or painful is because you are being forced to change. Resistance to change is where your pain comes from. The more one resists adapting to changing circumstances, the more pain one experiences. Pain is actually the symptom of the heat of transformation, or adaptation, of something changing in your system, whether this is physical, emotional or intellectual, all are aspects of who you are and is represented by 'personality'. So pain is good, because it means you are healing, or changing some aspect of who you are. When you go through something hard like this, then after you are finished with it, you have let go of something old and now have something new. This is why it is good, because now you are more updated, refreshed and new in some way that you weren't before. You are better able to survive the more you allow the old ways or things to go, and adapt to what is new. The universe and world is constantly changing, every micro second, the more you learn to face what is here now and respond to it,, the more you also will become like the universe, spiritual, flowing and adaptive. That's our challenge, to learn how to welcome change and be one with it.


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Hummingbird Tanka Poem


Your wings beat so fast
your drone tells me you're coming
opening my eyes.

Watching you I'm mesmerized
thanks to you - I am present.